Civic Duty

This little wolfie has to fulfill her civic duty today! That's right, everyone, Tygerwolfe has jury duty!



I'm sitting in the juror assembly room right now, alternately reading, dozing, and trying to work on homework that isn't proving any easier to do in this big noisy room than it was at my nice quiet desk. Probability in statistics is insanely difficult, and I'm just not grasping it.

I brought lots of things with me today - my acer, obviously, as that's what I'm posting from, a book, a packed lunch, my homework notebook, calculator, and notes... But I somehow managed not to bring a sketchbook. I'm annoyed with myself for this, because sure enough, I want to draw.

I'm broke, hence the pack lunch, but I can smell the little dining room that's just outside this room, and I can see the food. I ate this morning, but smelling the food is making me hungry.

To make matters worse, as usually happens when I know I have to get up early the next day, I had insomnia last night. I was awake until nearly 3:30am, and got up at six to get ready for Jury Duty. I've made it through the first couple of hours, but now the tired is starting to weigh on me. I think I'm going to have to nap when I get home.

I'm annoyed at the early time, but I don't resent having to report. After all, jury duty is "duty" for a reason, and I have a big respect for responsibility. All the same, though, I'm hoping I don't get chosen, just because I'm already missing a math class for this today and I don't want to deal with the repercussions if I miss another. I'm listening to a Judge talk to us about why it's important to be a juror and why it's a privilege to have been chosen. That kind of summed it up, though, she just said, "We make you park a long way away, walk a long way, form lines, wait, and wait... and when you're done waiting, we ask you to wait some more!"

But I'm nothing if not patient (when it comes to everything short of a person getting a gift I'm giving them - I get VERY impatient when it comes to that), and the waiting doesn't bother me. I wait, I watch, I listen. And I am proud to be giving my civil service to the Orange County court system today.

I Write Like...

And, finally, for this blog:

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Body Bugging

My body's bugging me in class today. Acid reflux, stomach all twisty, I keep burping... I haven't eaten anything yet today. It's weird. I have a banana in my car to eat before I get to the zoo for the school field trip today.

I've decided that the "lump in my throat" might not even BE acid reflux, because it doesn't feel hot. It's just... a lump. Maybe I was crying in my sleep last night? I have no idea.

I don't have much to say, I just felt like blogging.

I Love Positivity!

I've reached the point where if something, say, an upsetting discussion in class, starts to get me down, I not only RECOGNIZE it and begin to take steps to get myself back in a good spot, BUT! The Universe itself seems to come out of nowhere to help me feel better.

Walking back to my car from class tonight, I was a little down because of the topic of dead and dying parents was brought up, and got me thinking about dad. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a girl from my class came up and said she'd been meaning to talk to me.

We went into a wonderful conversation about how her boyfriend is into fossils and talking about the Tar Pits, and just... by the time I got to my car, I was up on a high again. So very wonderfully happy. :D
Anyway, it's just really nice to know. :)

Mobile Isn't Normally Defined As "Without Computer," But...

My computer is very busy right now, and therefore, I'm posting from my phone. Hence mobile.

I was woken up several times last night by what I'll define here as "bad dreams." Not nightmares, but only because I wasn't personally directly involved in most of them. The one I was needs to be posted to These Ancient Eyes, and not here, I think. That one was first, but it was followed by another one, seemingly the moment I fell asleep again.

This series of bad dreams involved alternately pokemon and real animals. There was something going on, and the leader of the "bird" faction (bird in quotes because it was sometimes an eagle or hawk, and other times it was a Staraptor or Tranquill) needed advice from the Rafiki-like baboon spiritual leader about the unrest in the bird faction.

They walked through a cemetery, the baboon seeking spirit council. I woke up the first time, abruptly, when something frightening happened that I don't remember now. I remember thinking that the dream was weird and noticing that I was hot, therefore tossing off my covers. It was barely 2 hours since I'd gone to bed, so I tried to shake off the eerie feeling of the dream and just go back to sleep. I succeeded in the second part, but obviously not the first.

I was back in the dream again, further on in their walk. They were passing by a mausoleum when the baboon was suddenly swept abruptly into what I can only describe as "the spirit world" or a "living memory." He saw his father's abrupt death/murder in the same cemetery, not 20 feet from where they were standing, and blood spreading out over the headstone his body landed on.

From my vantage point, I could see the blood, but not the actual murder. I was only aware of what happened because of my "narrator's omniscience" that seems to have kicked in with this dream, since it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. Then the baboon, and summarily, I, heard a haunting, deep voice say, "The answers you seek lie with his bones." And then the spirit world/living memory faded, leaving the out of breath baboon hanging onto the side of the mauseoleum, shaking, and the Staraptor (it was a pokemon again now) trying desperately to get his attention.

The baboon said nothing, but slowly walked over to the headstone, and looked down. My vantage point switched to his, and I saw that it was somehow still sticky with blood. The bird came over and gasped at the blood, saying something along the lines of "Twenty years later... it is not possible!"

My vantage point switched again, back to where I could see the whole scene, as the baboon lifted his head and looked the bird in the eye. "Because he who committed this crime is the source of your problems." He looked away. "I have avoided doing this for many years... Now I do not have a choice."

Thunder clapped in the background with the next sentence, and the baboon looked straight at me/the camera/the bird. "We must exhume my father's grave."

I jerked awake. And I mean, I actually JERKED. My heart was pounding, my head spinning, and I felt as if there was something in the room with me. Something dark, if not actually malevolent. I felt like there was something bad going on, and I hadn't figured out what it was yet. I tried to go back to sleep, and I felt the dream taking me again. I forced myself awake. I didn't want to go back into that dream, even though I have no idea WHY it was upsetting me so much. As I said, it wasn't a nightmare, persay... I classify nightmares as bad dreams in which I am a direct participant or at the very least being effected. This? I was in the role of the camera. I had no emotional investment in these characters or what was going on, and I have no idea where the story even came from OR why it wouldn't let me go. Perhaps it's that it wouldn't let me go that was frightening me so badly.

Anyway, I got up, spent an hour wandering around the house with a flashlight - checked the heater, which was on, but low, and the pilot light was lit. I checked the refrigerator when I thought it was making a weird noise. I made sure each of the people I live with were still breathing - and all still asleep. I did a mental shout out to the guardians stationed around the property, and returned a negative on any malicious activity. It was now a little more than an hour before I had to get up, and thanks to the dreams I'd slept for maybe three hours. I was finally calm and tired again, so I went back to bed. I didn't go back into the dream, and slept until my alarm went off with no further bad dreams or nightmares. I did wake up with a headache that hasn't gone away yet, but I feel happy and normal otherwise.

Anyway, I just needed to document the weirdness somewhere, and as I wrote this out on my phone, this seemed the logical spot.

Final conclusion? My brain is weird.

School Thoughts

Sitting here on campus, thinking, studying, waiting, I find myself wishing oddly for something specific.

I want an Acer.

Not just because it would make schoolwork so much more convenient, but because I find myself with the most free time these days while away from home.

It isn't that I'm bored or have nothing to do as it is, but more that when I feel the need to write, be it fanfics or school or work, I'd like the option without having to walk all over campus to do so.

This musing is brought to you by my seriously considering writing a story on my phone via Google Docs rather than even consider trudging across campus in this heat to use a school computer.

Didn't Intend This Blog to be Depressing...

But that seems to be what's happened here, since it seems to be that I spend the most time out of the house during emergencies.

Have I mentioned that I hate hospitals? Let me explain part of the reason why.

Back in November, my fiancé's father was diagnosed with pancreatitus. To make a long story short, it wasn't pancreatitus. And the ulcer that they found two months later wasn't just an ulcer.

The man has stage 4 liver cancer. It's spread to his lymph nodes. It's blocking his bile ducts. He's jaundiced, and because it took them so very long to catch it, because they kept pawning it off on him being addicted to pain meds, or that his ulcer was from ibuprophen abuse, now he's dying.

If they'd caught it earlier, we might have been able to do something about it naturopathically. But now it's too late for even that. They can't do chemotherapy or radiation for various reasons, and he can't stop throwing up long enough for them to even get a CT Scan.

Tomorrow, they're supposed to do a liver puncture to drain his blocked bile ducts. If, that is, they can "find" an anesthesiologist, since it's memorial day weekend.

So, yeah. I hate hospitals. Maybe now you have an insight into why.
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Once, I can understand...

But TWICE?! And in one WEEK, no less!

I should back up. Earlier this week, my siblings and I went to the local Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet. At the end of our meal, I went to use the restroom.

In the restroom's handicapped stall was a very young girl. A girl who had either not locked the door on purpose, or had forgotten to lock it.

I went for the big stall, naturally, and the girl glared at me from the toilet, as if it was MY fault that I'd entered her (unlocked, with the door standing open) stall. I, of course apologised and closed the door as I backed away.

It should be noted that the door (still unlocked) stayed closed when I pulled it to. This indicates that the girl really HADN'T even bothered to try and close the door.

Any way, fast forward to tonight. At a different place entirely, I finished a meal and went to the bathroom.

In the handicapped stall, with the door ajar as if there was no one in it, there was a little old woman. Again, I was glared at. Again, I pulled the door shut. Again, it stayed.

It's one thing for it to have happened once, but twice? In the same WEEK??

I'm beginning to think I'm bathroom cursed. Maybe, from now on, I'll just hold it.


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Just Some Thoughts

Another post that isn't from my phone?! Be shocked. :P

I'm borrowing Lona's internet connection through her phone right now, to get my computer online for a few minutes. Then I shall return to playing old Sega Genesis games ON my laptop... Strangely enough, that's very relaxing, especially in this situation.

We're sitting in the Hospice, on death-watch for Nyx's grandmother. It's a really nice house/hospice. The room we're in reminds me a bit of my late aunt's dining room in her old house. There's a plug on every wall, and we can easily plug the computers IN...Only bad thing is that there's no wi-fi connection anywhere around that isn't secured AND very weak. So we're kind of passing the one phone with any actual connection around and using it in turn.

This place has a nice feeling to it. It's a relaxing atmosphere in this hospice. Which is good - I wouldn't have been able to spend as much time here as I have if it was disturbing. I did have a moment of mental "eep!" when two guys from a funeral service came by earlier for the former other inhabitant of the hospice. THEY did not feel nice.

The nurses that work here are nice.

Anyway, we're here, and we'll be here pretty much until it's over. So, everyone that reads this, please put in a good thought for Nyx's grandma... Let's hope she passes without pain.

That's it for now.

A post NOT from my phone? 0.0

That's right! This post is NOT from my phone. Though it still goes on my mobile blog, because I am very much NOT at home.

Nyx's grandmother is in a Hospice. As you all probably know, once you go into one of those places, you don't come out. Lona and I are here to be moral support for her, but when it came time to go to the Hospice itself, she chose to go alone. I can't say I blame her, and I'm proud of her for choosing to go at all.

I know that there can be a lot of regret attached to a person's passing, especially someone like a family member. I don't know that I'd have the strength to do what Nyx is doing right now.

I just felt the need to make a post about this.

Argh!

So, I woke up in a bad mood today. I don't know why. I feel like I didn't get enough sleep, even though I know I slept for exactly 8 hours.

On top of that, Kata made my favorite thing that he makes for dinner tonight, beef strouganough (or however you spell it), and even though I had a perfectly reasonable serving, I'm still uncomfortably hungry. I had two cookies for dessert (almond cookies, nom). Still not enough.

Nyxie, Lona and I headed out then to Claudia's class to sit with her and make sure she didn't have to drive in the dark home. I was sitting, reading, trying to finish my book so we can go back to the library tomorrow, when I was hit by SERIOUS intestinal pain. I was afraid to stand up. I told myself that when it passed, I'd run to the restroom of the Borders bookstore we were in.

The pain passed enough for me to get up and run for the bathroom, only to find that BOTH of Borders' restrooms were flooded and therefore out of order.

Now, of course, the pain started again. I left the bookstore and walked to the Starbucks next door. They had only one bathroom, and it was occupied. I left the Starbucks and walked what felt like miles, between the heat and my body forcing me to hold very still every few steps, until I finally made it to a Denny's with a gloriously UNoccupied restroom.

And now, feeling physically much better, I'm about to head back to Border's. The walk back promises to be much easier than the walk over.

I think that's it for this edition of Dire Wolf Tracks. But, dang it, I'm still hungry!


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I have nothing else to do.

Therefore, I ramble in a blog.

I'm sitting in a Borders coffee shop, guarding Lona's coffee and listening to a snooty woman talk about how rich her husband is and how she could never be poor, and how she's been off of exercising for 3 months because she pulled her hamstring and just got back to working out today. She's disgusted, you see, because in those three months, she gained a whole 6 pounds. ~gasp!~

Maybe it's the fact that I'm already in a bad mood from my tummy being blah since last night (and I'm talking a tummy that can't decide between pained, hungry, or nauseated), but she was really getting on my nerves.

Oh well, Lona and Nyxie are back now. So I might expand on it later.
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A Week Of Change

Still doing job hunting. No real bites, so far. But I'm confident that I'll find something soon.

In the mean time, I gotta get used to a much busier lifestyle. I'm now thinking that I'll keep whatever job I get, through the next couple of semesters. I've also decided to go ahead and get my AA in Anthropology before I move to UCLA for the Palentology program. So that's a decision made.

Other potentially life-changing decisions have also been made recently. There will be more on that in the next few days.
Anyway, they are back now and I'm not bored anymore, so I'm closing this journal down.
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Another one bites the dust.

Only 2 days to go and this semester is over. That's good and bad news, as I found out today that, at least for next semester, Glass Blowing has been discontinued due to budget cuts. I'm sad about that because I know my brother really wanted to take it, and it'll bum him out.

On the other paw, I'm excited because our class mural (a picture of Wolverine from X-Men, cut up into many different pieces and each piece done in charcoal by a different student) came out absolutely awesome!

Our teacher is gonna enter it into next year's Student Art Show under the class project category. I'm gonna watch close to see if it gets in.

In other news, I forgot the combination to my downstairs art locker that held my empty Art Bin. Not only that, but I lost the reminder paper I'd had. So, unless I can get security to help me out in the next two days, I can kiss my unused Art Bin goodbye.

Anyone in the Santa Ana, CA area with a large set of bolt cutters that's willing to help a puppy out?

That's it for now!


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In Class

Waiting desperately to get my final and get out of here. I hope he doesn't talk a lot before he gives it to us. I anticipate a B in this class. Shouldn't be too bad.

Sitting in a Barnes & Noble...

Sitting in a Bookstore is always kind of depressing. I never have the money to just GET all of the books that I want.

And, on top of that, everything seems to come in series! There are almost no stand alone books, anymore. I found a cute book today and was reading it for awhile. If it had been a stand-alone, I probably would've gotten it. I thought it WAS a stand-alone... Until I took a good look at the back of the book. In small print: "Be sure to catch the next of Waggit's adventures..."

I stared at it for a moment, then sighed and put the book down. Because, if I'm gonna read a series, I'm gonna read the whole thing at once. That's why I'm waiting for all six of the Warriors: The Power Of Three series to be out in paperback before I read any of them.

All of this has just brought one reality into harsh relief for me.

I really need to get a library card again.

That's it for now. I'm heading off to my Vista final, now. More tracks to come.
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Luminary

So, I was playing Luminary tonight to pass time before bed (posting from my phone because I'm getting ready for bed), and randomly, on the last Cursed Talasco I killed before my Stinky Hotpot ran out, I got a Legendary Ginseng.

And for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about... You knew I was a gamer geek when you started watching me. That's all for now.
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Second Post! Also A Test...

OK! If I've done this right, I've set up my new mobile blog at Blogger to post to my LiveJournal, too! For those of you who are on Blogger and want to follow both at the same TIME, my Blogger address is here: Dire Wolf Tracks: Tygerwolfe's Mobile Blog

That's it for now! Expect more posts than just Twitters from me for awhile. :)

First Post!

OK! So at my sisters urging (Trinitylast & Nyx Goldstone), I created this blog for when I'm out and about, and Twitter's 140 Character limit just isn't enough!

I'd originally intended my first post to be about how bored I was in class. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. :P By the time I'd gotten the blog set up, I was out of class and home, so I finished on my computer.

Which I'm happy about, because I was able to make my own header image, which I like very much.

Anyway, this is gonna be the place I leave tracks when I'm out and about. For other places you can find me, please check out my website: http://tygersden.xtreemhost.com/ . That's all for now!