Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Civic Duty
I'm sitting in the juror assembly room right now, alternately reading, dozing, and trying to work on homework that isn't proving any easier to do in this big noisy room than it was at my nice quiet desk. Probability in statistics is insanely difficult, and I'm just not grasping it.
I brought lots of things with me today - my acer, obviously, as that's what I'm posting from, a book, a packed lunch, my homework notebook, calculator, and notes... But I somehow managed not to bring a sketchbook. I'm annoyed with myself for this, because sure enough, I want to draw.
I'm broke, hence the pack lunch, but I can smell the little dining room that's just outside this room, and I can see the food. I ate this morning, but smelling the food is making me hungry.
To make matters worse, as usually happens when I know I have to get up early the next day, I had insomnia last night. I was awake until nearly 3:30am, and got up at six to get ready for Jury Duty. I've made it through the first couple of hours, but now the tired is starting to weigh on me. I think I'm going to have to nap when I get home.
I'm annoyed at the early time, but I don't resent having to report. After all, jury duty is "duty" for a reason, and I have a big respect for responsibility. All the same, though, I'm hoping I don't get chosen, just because I'm already missing a math class for this today and I don't want to deal with the repercussions if I miss another. I'm listening to a Judge talk to us about why it's important to be a juror and why it's a privilege to have been chosen. That kind of summed it up, though, she just said, "We make you park a long way away, walk a long way, form lines, wait, and wait... and when you're done waiting, we ask you to wait some more!"
But I'm nothing if not patient (when it comes to everything short of a person getting a gift I'm giving them - I get VERY impatient when it comes to that), and the waiting doesn't bother me. I wait, I watch, I listen. And I am proud to be giving my civil service to the Orange County court system today.
Friday, April 15, 2011
I Write Like...
Dan Brown
I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Body Bugging
I've decided that the "lump in my throat" might not even BE acid reflux, because it doesn't feel hot. It's just... a lump. Maybe I was crying in my sleep last night? I have no idea.
I don't have much to say, I just felt like blogging.
Monday, March 28, 2011
I Love Positivity!
Walking back to my car from class tonight, I was a little down because of the topic of dead and dying parents was brought up, and got me thinking about dad. Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, a girl from my class came up and said she'd been meaning to talk to me.
We went into a wonderful conversation about how her boyfriend is into fossils and talking about the Tar Pits, and just... by the time I got to my car, I was up on a high again. So very wonderfully happy. :D
Anyway, it's just really nice to know. :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Mobile Isn't Normally Defined As "Without Computer," But...
My computer is very busy right now, and therefore, I'm posting from my phone. Hence mobile.
I was woken up several times last night by what I'll define here as "bad dreams." Not nightmares, but only because I wasn't personally directly involved in most of them. The one I was needs to be posted to These Ancient Eyes, and not here, I think. That one was first, but it was followed by another one, seemingly the moment I fell asleep again.
This series of bad dreams involved alternately pokemon and real animals. There was something going on, and the leader of the "bird" faction (bird in quotes because it was sometimes an eagle or hawk, and other times it was a Staraptor or Tranquill) needed advice from the Rafiki-like baboon spiritual leader about the unrest in the bird faction.
They walked through a cemetery, the baboon seeking spirit council. I woke up the first time, abruptly, when something frightening happened that I don't remember now. I remember thinking that the dream was weird and noticing that I was hot, therefore tossing off my covers. It was barely 2 hours since I'd gone to bed, so I tried to shake off the eerie feeling of the dream and just go back to sleep. I succeeded in the second part, but obviously not the first.
I was back in the dream again, further on in their walk. They were passing by a mausoleum when the baboon was suddenly swept abruptly into what I can only describe as "the spirit world" or a "living memory." He saw his father's abrupt death/murder in the same cemetery, not 20 feet from where they were standing, and blood spreading out over the headstone his body landed on.
From my vantage point, I could see the blood, but not the actual murder. I was only aware of what happened because of my "narrator's omniscience" that seems to have kicked in with this dream, since it had nothing to do with me whatsoever. Then the baboon, and summarily, I, heard a haunting, deep voice say, "The answers you seek lie with his bones." And then the spirit world/living memory faded, leaving the out of breath baboon hanging onto the side of the mauseoleum, shaking, and the Staraptor (it was a pokemon again now) trying desperately to get his attention.
The baboon said nothing, but slowly walked over to the headstone, and looked down. My vantage point switched to his, and I saw that it was somehow still sticky with blood. The bird came over and gasped at the blood, saying something along the lines of "Twenty years later... it is not possible!"
My vantage point switched again, back to where I could see the whole scene, as the baboon lifted his head and looked the bird in the eye. "Because he who committed this crime is the source of your problems." He looked away. "I have avoided doing this for many years... Now I do not have a choice."
Thunder clapped in the background with the next sentence, and the baboon looked straight at me/the camera/the bird. "We must exhume my father's grave."
I jerked awake. And I mean, I actually JERKED. My heart was pounding, my head spinning, and I felt as if there was something in the room with me. Something dark, if not actually malevolent. I felt like there was something bad going on, and I hadn't figured out what it was yet. I tried to go back to sleep, and I felt the dream taking me again. I forced myself awake. I didn't want to go back into that dream, even though I have no idea WHY it was upsetting me so much. As I said, it wasn't a nightmare, persay... I classify nightmares as bad dreams in which I am a direct participant or at the very least being effected. This? I was in the role of the camera. I had no emotional investment in these characters or what was going on, and I have no idea where the story even came from OR why it wouldn't let me go. Perhaps it's that it wouldn't let me go that was frightening me so badly.
Anyway, I got up, spent an hour wandering around the house with a flashlight - checked the heater, which was on, but low, and the pilot light was lit. I checked the refrigerator when I thought it was making a weird noise. I made sure each of the people I live with were still breathing - and all still asleep. I did a mental shout out to the guardians stationed around the property, and returned a negative on any malicious activity. It was now a little more than an hour before I had to get up, and thanks to the dreams I'd slept for maybe three hours. I was finally calm and tired again, so I went back to bed. I didn't go back into the dream, and slept until my alarm went off with no further bad dreams or nightmares. I did wake up with a headache that hasn't gone away yet, but I feel happy and normal otherwise.
Anyway, I just needed to document the weirdness somewhere, and as I wrote this out on my phone, this seemed the logical spot.
Final conclusion? My brain is weird.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
School Thoughts
Sitting here on campus, thinking, studying, waiting, I find myself wishing oddly for something specific.
I want an Acer.
Not just because it would make schoolwork so much more convenient, but because I find myself with the most free time these days while away from home.
It isn't that I'm bored or have nothing to do as it is, but more that when I feel the need to write, be it fanfics or school or work, I'd like the option without having to walk all over campus to do so.
This musing is brought to you by my seriously considering writing a story on my phone via Google Docs rather than even consider trudging across campus in this heat to use a school computer.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Didn't Intend This Blog to be Depressing...
Have I mentioned that I hate hospitals? Let me explain part of the reason why.
Back in November, my fiancé's father was diagnosed with pancreatitus. To make a long story short, it wasn't pancreatitus. And the ulcer that they found two months later wasn't just an ulcer.
The man has stage 4 liver cancer. It's spread to his lymph nodes. It's blocking his bile ducts. He's jaundiced, and because it took them so very long to catch it, because they kept pawning it off on him being addicted to pain meds, or that his ulcer was from ibuprophen abuse, now he's dying.
If they'd caught it earlier, we might have been able to do something about it naturopathically. But now it's too late for even that. They can't do chemotherapy or radiation for various reasons, and he can't stop throwing up long enough for them to even get a CT Scan.
Tomorrow, they're supposed to do a liver puncture to drain his blocked bile ducts. If, that is, they can "find" an anesthesiologist, since it's memorial day weekend.
So, yeah. I hate hospitals. Maybe now you have an insight into why.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile